“When you grow up, do you want to be like mum?”

[Married to a Vet and father of 3 girls and 1 boy]

My daughter asked me the other day, “when you grow up, do you want to be like mum?” I told her that I'll try my best. (She's also the one that in a recent parenting day at daycare was asked to tell what her parents do for a living and told lengthly about how her mum treats dogs and cats and makes them feel better and that her dad "only does emails")

Throughout my career, I was fortunate to be managed, led, and mentored by two amazing bosses. Both inspiring, strong, smart leaders. Both women. They shaped my career, and a lot of who I am today is thanks to them. They taught me to both remember and forget.

Remember that there is a problem that hasn't been solved yet. That's it's harder for a woman to play, lead, succeed in what is still a male-dominated world. That sexism still exists in our behaviour, language, jokes. And at the same time, forget that there is a problem. People are people. They have skills, dreams, motivations, ambitions. There are still tasks to be done and roles to be filled. 

Remember that there are still 'norms.’ That women typically put their careers on hold when they become mums. That the mum is the one that usually (or always?) get the call from school when her kid is sick and she is more likely to take the rest of the day off. That women have two to-do-lists (work and home), while men typically have one. But at the same time, forget about the role play. Dad equals mom, equals 50% of the responsibility; 50% of the dreams to have children, 50% of the reality of raising a child. Women’s equality starts at home, where dads are "in the kitchen" as well and own 50% of the to-do-list.

Thank you, the women in my life for helping me both remember and forget every single day.